Blonde Jokes

Raffle

A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

“Where did you get that?”

The pig replied,

“I won her in a raffle!”

Blonde Bear

Q: Did you hear about the blond Bear?
A: Got stuck in a hunter’s trap, chewed off it’s 2 paws and 1 leg, and was still stuck.

Lightning

Q: Why do blondes love lightning?
A: They reckon somebody is taking their photo.

A blonde a brunette and a redhead are runing from a man and they run into a barn
and they see three sacks in the corner. They decide to run and hide in these three
sacks. The man comes in shortly after and sees these three
sacks moving. He goes up to these three sacks and kicks the first one with the brunette
in it. The brunette mimics a cat and says MEOW and the man thinks there’s a cat in the sack
and leaves it alone. He goes upto the second sack with the red head in it
and kicks it the red head mimics a dog and says WOOF so the man thinks there’s
a dog in the sack and leaves it. The man goes up to the final sack with the BLONDE in it and
kicks it and the BLONDE says POTATOES!

Blondes’ Tattoo

A blonde is showing off her new tattoo of a giant seashell on her inner thigh.

Her friends ask her why she would get such a tattoo and in that location.

She responds, ‘It’s really cool. If you put your ear up against it, you can smell the ocean!’

Blind Man in a Biker Bar

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.

After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair — given that you are blind — that you should know five things:

  1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
  2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
  3. I’m a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
  4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
  5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “No… Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

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